Martin Koss – thinking out loud…

Yesterday I had a lengthy (and painful) chat to a business owner about numerous websites and (rather dull) stuff but boy this guy absolutely loved the sound of his own voice – well – he must do because he certainly wasn’t listening to me.

We’ve all been there – un-heard.

Do you ever find yourself in conversations where you’re struggling to get a word in edge-ways?

Where no matter what you do you just can’t find a break in the conversation that gives you an opportunity to speak – and – when you do get chance to speak you can tell that the other person is totally not listening to you.

Now turn that around and ask yourself – now be honest here cos it matters and you could learn something – have you ever dominated a conversation to the point that the other person is unable to contribute their own thoughts?

Have you ever been so full of yourself that you have shown no interest in the other person at all?

Do you know that that lack of interest is totally obvious to the other person?

They can see your eyes kind of drift into space and they know your thoughts are somewhere else – they know that all you’re thinking about is what you’re going to say next and they feel like “what is the point in saying anything”.

If you ever find yourself in a conversation like that and it is clear that the other person is not really listening to you – stop talking mid-sentence and see how they react – the results can be interesting.

Something I’ll Never Forget

I once read a book about ‘people’ and in that book – I wish I could remember the title but I’m getting old – but the bit of the book I’ll always remember goes something like this:

A traveling salesman winds up in some hotel/motel type joint and, while having a drink in the bar, meets a fairly well to do (clearly successful and wealthy) exec type dude.

The two strangers chat for hours over drinks and the sales chappy is so interested in the exec guy and asks all about his business, his products his family, holidays, cars, until he pretty much knows the ins and outs of the exec’s entire life…

Every time the exec finishes talking about another chapter of his life, the salesman is ready with another question and so it goes on…

The exec is so happy to talk about the things in his life that he loves and the salesman is eager to hear more and more and more…

Afterwards – the exec retires to his suite and calls his wife and tells her about this amazingly interesting guy who he just met and had drinks with…

If you didn’t get the point of that little story – read it again.

If you didn’t get the point of that little story – read it again.

If you didn’t get the point of that little story – read it again.

If you didn’t get the point of that little story – read it again.

Okay – just in case you didn’t get it…

In order for others to be interested in You – You must be interested in Them – Genuinely.

Being interested makes the experience of conversing with you more enjoyable.

Being interested makes you seem more interesting. Don’t ask me why – it just does.

Try it…

So, next time you’re having a conversation or – even better – you’re in a sales meeting; Stop talking and start listening. You may find you don’t need to sell anything – you just have to listen.

 

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